Excuses - Part Three

Teehee, it seems my other story has taken a back seat for this one. Hope you like this part. It's longer than the other two parts.

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Chapter Three of Excuses

I woke up in Dillon's arms, his chest pressed against my back. I could feel his chest rising and falling with every breath his sleeping body took. I slowly pulled away from his grip, causing Dillon to groan. I stilled, hoping he wasn't waking up. Once he quieted down, I slipped out from under the warm covers and found my clothes. I tiptoed to the bathroom, changed into my clothes, and put up my hair.

When I got to my truck I had to stop myself from punching the steering wheel; I was so angry with myself. I should never have stayed the night, it just gets harder and harder to leave. Quickly starting the truck, cursing at myself for buying a diesel, I backed out of the driveway. I looked to the house one last time and my heart dropped when I saw Dillon standing on the porch. My breath caught in my throat and I slammed on the brakes.

Dillon jumped off the porch and ran towards my truck. I had two options: stay, explain why I had to leave and act like the grown up I was, or leave. I would have opted for the latter, if Dillon was not already standing at my door. I slammed my head onto the steering wheel, and the horn blared. Dillon knocked on the window and I lifted my head to look at him. I gave a weak smile.

I slowly opened the door and hopped out. "I'm sorry," I whispered, looking at my feet.

"Why do you always leave?" Tears were in my eyes, but I held them back. "Every time I fall asleep with you in my arms, I wake up and you're never there." I kicked the sand at my feet, "I want to know why."

"Because I-"

"Nara," Dillon took my hands in his. I looked up at him, his eyes showed that he was hurt, "I love you, and you love me; I know you do. But can you please tell me why we can't be together?" The tears fell, I wanted to run. He didn't understand, he couldn't. I shook my head, pulling my hands from his. Climbing back into my truck, I wished it didn't have to be like this. But Dillon wanted something I could never give him, no matter how much I wanted to give it to him. I backed all the way out of the driveway before looking back to Dillon. He was standing where I left him, staring at me. His face looked so forlorn, I wanted to run to him and kiss his sadness away. For a moment, my resolve wavered, why couldn't I do that? I heard a horn honk behind me. Looking in the rear view mirror, I saw that there were a few vehicles lined up behind me.

I quickly sped away, not looking back, knowing that he would still be where I left him. He would still look as if I tore out his heart and stomped on it repeatedly. Not only had I done that to his, but I'd also done it to mine. Did he think it was easy for me to get up in the middle of the night and just leave? Well it wasn't; every time I came, my need to stay here with him got stronger and stronger. Didn't he know that, hadn't I ever told him?

The hour long drive seemed to take hours, like I was driving at a snail's pace. I had the music blasted, trying to drown my sorrows in country music. But it didn't work, because Dillon had made up this CD for me - it was all of our favorite songs. The green trees seemed to crawl by, the vehicles creeped past, the highway seemed to be moving the opposite way.

Finally, I had arrived at the clinic. Anna, my assistant and best friend, was already there. I waved to her as I came in the door. I guess she must have noted that I was still wearing yesterday's clothes because she commented on it.

"So, how's Dillon?" She asked innocently. It made me want to fire her on the spot, but I couldn't do that, she was one of my best friends. I just scowled at her instead, "Sweetie, what's the matter?" Anna rushed to me and gave me a tight hug. I told her what happened this morning, and she gave me her support.

"Why did you end it though?" She looked at me for a moment, expecting an answer. "I mean, you were so happy," Anna added.

"Because he's going to want kids," I said through my tears.

"Sweetie, there are other ways. You know that I would be a surrogate, don't you?" I nodded, she told me every once in a while, when I would get into a funk about not being able to bear a child.

"I want to experience the whole thing, the pregnancy, the birth, and every little thing in between."

"I know," Anna rubbed my back, comforting me. "But just in case."

"Thanks," I pulled away from the hug just as two people, a man and a woman, came through the door. They brought a large grate with them, and from it came yipping sounds.

"Puppies!" I exclaimed, breaking from my funk and getting down on my knees to peer into the crate. Inside were six Border Collies, about six weeks old, and their mother. I smiled brightly, puppies always brightened my day, no matter how bad. I stood up, "What can I do for you?" I asked, opening the crate and letting the curious puppies wander.

"We just wanted to make sure every thing's okay," the woman was saying. "Some of the puppies were sneezing, and we were worried they might have a cold." I picked up a small puppy that was licking my toe. It was black, with white on its nose, it's belly, the tip of its tail and had white socks. In the black, there were random white speckles.

"Alright," I tickled the puppy's chin, and set it down. It immediately started whining, and pawing at my leg. I picked it up and it stopped, "What's the matter?" I asked the tiny puppy, kissing its nose. It sneezed in my face and I laughed. "Let's round up these little guys and bring them into the back room."

Once we gathered all of the puppies and brought them to the back, I checked each of them over, and then the mother. "Nothing seems to be wrong with them," I told the couple while petting the puppy that had taken a liking to me, which I had discovered was a girl. "I suggest plenty of rest, and lots of water. That should do the trick." I gently set the puppy on the floor. She started whining, and pawing at my leg.

"She likes you," the man said. I smiled, looking down at the black and white wiggling fluff ball at my feet.

"It seems she does," bringing my gaze to the rest of the puppies, who were crowded around their mother, pulling at her fur. "So, if you want, I can schedule an appointment for their first shots in about three weeks?"

"We're actually selling them, but we'll call if we need anything." I nodded, my smile wavering a bit.

"Alright, well I look forward to hearing from you guys." I bent down on my knees and pet the pup one last time, and kissed her on her nose. "It's amazing how quickly puppies make you fall in love with them," gathering all of the puppies into the crate took a few minutes, and I didn't want to let go of the puppy.

"Would you like her?" The woman asked, my smile brightened.

"I'd love to have her," I reached for my purse and grabbed my checkbook. "How much?"

"Oh, don't be silly!" The cheerful woman laughed. I smiled, and insisted on paying. "Alright, how about $50?" I nodded and grabbed a fifty from my wallet and handed it to the woman. Scooping up the tiny puppy in my arms, I waved to the couple as they took the crate full of dogs out.

"Dillon's going to love you!" I told the puppy in a high-pitched voice. I gasped when I realized what I had said. He wouldn't see her, he wouldn't want to. I'd just extracted myself from all of his future plans, including the family dog. "Anna," I whispered, staring at the door. "I need to get her settled at home. Do you think we could close early? You'll be paid for the whole day." I set the puppy on the floor and gathered my things. I posted a note on the door that read:

"Of course," Anna gave me a hug and helped close up. I said good bye to her, and headed out, grabbing a bag of puppy food on the way out.

"Just you and me," I whispered to the puppy in my arms as I walked to my truck.

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So, what do you guys think?

[Edit: May 10th. Edited a few things.]